uLquiorra
by mahoneyb8
Summary: Ulquiorra is out with Orihime one day, being dragged over to her friend Misa's. Both her and Misa thing Ulquiorra and L will get along well.


"I think you two will get along great!" Orihime dragged an uncaring Ulquiorra down the street. She wore a strapless, knee-length white dress with a short red jacket and red heels. He, as she had dressed him, wore Converse, black skinny jeans and a dark green t-shirt that matched his eyes almost perfectly. His face held no emotions as she said this, and he looked around, seeing the groups of school girls in their uniforms, people in kimonos, and some people who's attire was far too formal.

"Who are these people?" Ulquiorra asked, his voice monotone.

"I wish you would stop worrying about others Ulqi-kun! All you need to worry about is where were going!"

Ulquiorra turned his attention to her. "Where are we going woman?"

"Don't call me that! My name is Orihime Inoue! Call me by my name! And we're going to go see Misa and L! I think you and L will get along well, you both look a lot alike! And you even act the same!"

"Oh... L? That is not a name girl, that is a letter..."

Orihime chuckled. "Well it is his name Ulqi-kun! I know it's quite weird, but so is he, so it fits!"

Ulquiorra thought this over for a moment. "So if me and him are alike, then you think I'm weird to?" He asked, his voice as bored sounding and unemotional as always.

Orihime stopped and turned to him, surprise in her eyes that turned to sadness. "Of course not..."

"But you said so woman, I heard you." Ulquiorra went on, looking up at her. "My heart heard it to."

Orihime got wide-eyed and suddenly jumped to him and hugged him. "Oh Ulqi-kun, I'm so sorry!" She hugged him tightly and he stood still for a moment, not sure what to do. He was sure this was the action people called hugging, and he was supposed to do it back. He slowly hugged her back, not sure if he was doing right. They stayed still like that for a few moments more, until Ulquiorra broke the silence.

"Is this a hug?"

Orihime looked up at him and blinked, then nodded. "Yes it is."

"Am I doing it right?" He tilted his head to the side a bit.

She smiled and nodded again. "You were doing great! Now let's get to L's!" She grabbed his hand again and started to pull him again. She stopped pulling him once they go to this huge building and Orihime pulled him inside, going over to the wall and hitting a button and talking into a speaker.

"Hello?"

There was silence for a moment until the speaker crackled and an older voice came on, sounding quite solemn, but with a British accent. "Hello, I assume you are Ms. Amane's friend?"

Orihime nodded. "Yes, that's me."

"Ok, I will buzz you in." He said, and a door off to the side of the room opened and they entered it, now in an elevator. The music was typical, boring and quiet, and it matched Ulquiorra's facial expressing almost perfectly. It finally stopped and they stepped out into a gray and silver room, chairs on either sides of the door, with a plastic and metal staircase off to the right and many computers covering the back wall. In a chair infront of the main computer in the middle was a dark haired boy, and you could only see the back of his head as he was hunched in on himself.

"L, is that you?" Orihime asked and the boy turned, only enough so that his dark eyes could catch the sight of Orihime.

"Oh Orihime it's you. Misa is upstairs." He turned back to his computer, picking up a piece of paper by it's top two corners, the back of his hands facing himself.

"Would you like to come with me L? My friend is someone that me and Misa thought you would get along with very well..." Orihime smiled, dragging Ulquiorra across the room, over to him. "L, meet Ulquiorra Chiffer!" She smiled at the both of them, who turned from her to look at one another at the same exact time.

They both stared, both having messy black hair and dark, unusual eyes, L's had dark rings under his, that made him look depressed and sleep-deprived. Ulquiorra had dark lines that went down his face from his eyes, making it look like he had been permanently scared with the tears he shall never shed. She looked at them both, then grabbed their hands and put them very close together.

"Be proper and shake hands!" She told them, They stared at their own hands, and then at each others, and then they looked back at Orihime.

"Why?" They said in unison.

Orihime blinked, then clapped her hands together in rejoice. "You two could be brothers!"

They both stared at her, wearing the same uncaring expression, then turned to each other and then looked back. "I don't see it."

Orihime squealed with joy. "That's so amazing!" Both boys blinked in confusion.

Suddenly a blue-eyed girl with bright blonde hair and pigtails jumped down the stairs. She saw Orihime and jumped on her, hugging her with her legs around her waist and hands around her neck.

"Inoue-chan!" Misa squealed, hugging her tighter.

"Misa-Misa!" Orihime grabbed her arms, trying to pry the blonde girl off. "Don't choke me!" She giggled.

The two unrelated twins sat there, neither one really caring, or showing any interest in the two girls. They both blinked in unison again.

Misa climbed off of Orihime, smiling. Then she looked over at L and Ulquiorra and frowned.

"I wanted to be there when they met Inoue-chan! Your knew that!"

"Oh Misa-Misa I'm sorry! He was here when I brought Ulqi-kun in!" Orihime cried to her friend.

Both of the guys watched her, then L stood quietly and started to head for the staircase, then he slightly turned, so he could see Ulquiorra just the slightest. "You can come along if you don't want to listen to these two whine." He muttered, then turned and walked away, unnoticed by the annoying girls who kept arguing. Ulquiorra looked at the girls for a moment, then turned and followed L up the stairs, where they ended up on another floor and got in the elevator there. If anyone had saw them, they would've erupted with giggled. Both boys, dark hair hanging in their faces, eyes emotionless, with the happy upbeat elevator music in the background.

L glanced at Ulquiorra for a moment. "I wonder... Are you Kira?"

Ulquiorra blinked. "No, he is with Ichimaru."

L looked surprised and interested, his features coming to life. "Ichimaru? Tell me more about this fellow, would you?"

Ulquiorra shrugged. "I've never met him, but I hear he's always smiling... And he's very sarcastic." He went on, his voice not changing tones whatsoever.

L blinked. "Hmm." He finger went to his chin and he looked up, thinking, his expression being almost comical. "Interesting..."

Ulquiorra sighed, and had a desire to turn off this music. It wasn't a large urge that caused him any emotional discomfort, he just felt weird hearing such an upbeat sound. If he ever started listening to what this people call 'music', he'd never listen to anything like this.

The elevator finally came to a halt, the lights at the top stopped changing and paused on a number and it opened to a large room, covered in candles and many curtains. It had darker lighting than most of the house, and it smelled of sugar. Many photos were strung around the room, clipped to strings strung from wall to wall across the ceiling. The carpet was a dark maroon color, with black-ish, gray walls. On the far wall was a board, nailed to the wall. This board had many newspaper clippings tacked to it, even some of the floor and many of them written on with different color markers. The floor had many random pieces of paper dropped on it, and a few random things strewn randomly. There was no bed, but plenty of chairs around the room and a single arm chair, this one green, sitting infront of a small television set, with a stack of 20 or more video cassettes on the tiny metal cart that held the TV, which had two antennas sticking from it's top. This was obviously L's room.

Ulquiorra looked it over and blinked, not saying anything. The room smelt quite sweet, and he noticed a few carts and trays around with half-eaten treats or pastries on them. L walked in, slouched over and picked up an untouched tart from one of the trays and stuck out his tongue, and licked it, getting the icing off and then popping it in his mouth.

"So..." L muttered, looking back at Ulquiorra, not quite sure what to do with him.

Ulquiorra looked up from the floor. "So...?"

L blinked. "I thought you knew."

Ulquiorra shook his head the slightest. "I have no idea."

L nodded. "They're crazy."

Ulquiorra agreed. "Quite." He walked over and sat on the one gray colored couch in the room, and sat, then noticed a box and untied the little bow, it having a cake inside. "What is this?"

L walked over, looking bored. "Oh that's Strawberry Short Cake..."

Ulquiorra looked at the cake for a moment, then turned to L and blinked, then back to the box. "Cake?"

L looked like he might scream for the slightest moment, then he went back to looking bored before the second was over. "You don't know what cake is?"

Ulquiorra shook his head. "I've never heard of this cake. What does it do? Is it a weapon?"

L thought it over for a moment, finger on chin and looking up. "I suppose you could kill someone with cake... But no, it's not a weapon. You eat it." L walked away, then came back with a knife, two forks and some plates and set them down and cut two slices of cake and handed one to Ulquiorra. He just stared at it.

"No, like this." L said, putting the fork into the cake and breaking off a piece, then taking the fork up and putting it in his mouth, then pulled it away, no cake left on it. Ulquiorra watched him carefully and did what he did, and put the cake in his mouth, getting light pink icing on his lips. L blinked and grabbed a tissue and reached out and wiped it away. Ulquiorra and L looked at one another during this moment, seeming quite bored, and just stared until L finished cleaning him off. They both went back to eating their cake then, Ulquiorra seeming to get the hang of it, and L finishing his quickly and moving onto another piece. They both kept eating the cake, not sure what else to do, and if they weren't eating, it was silence. And the silence was awkward, so they ate.

Orihime and Misa had finally stopped being idiots long enough to realize that the two dark haired boys had ran off and started searching for them frantically like a mother who had lost her child in a freeway.

"ULQI-KUN!" Orihime yelled, Ulquiorra just barely hearing her in the room and looking in the direction of the scream.

"Just ignore her and they will go away." L muttered. Ulquiorra looked back at L, not sure he liked that plan much.

A sudden thunder of bangs and stomps were heard outside the door. "ARE YOU IN THERE?" Misa yelled, hitting the door harder, and the initial blow made both guys jump slightly and stare at the door in shock, then they both went silent. Hopefully she'll go away, they thought in unison. Both stayed silent until Misa was done trying after about 5 minutes, and left. L sighed.

"I honestly can't stand her. Why Light stays with her, I will never know..." He muttered and took a cup of tea off a cart and started dropping sugar cubes in it, showing no sign of stopping for about 10 to 15 cubes, then he put the bowl of them away and took a sip.

Ulquiorra stared at the door Misa had banged on for a few minutes. "L-san, do you think that they are really worried?"

L shrugged. "And if they are? Which I highly doubt. They are just two idiots who can't think straight when things don't go their way." L sipped his tea.

Suddenly another bang hit the door, but no screaming, and neither boy answered, waiting for an answer or some way of knowing who it was. "Ryuzaki! Open the door!" A male's voice came in, but Ulquiorra didn't know this voice, but L seemed to.

"Come in Light." L said loud and clear, and a young man, with dark red-ish hair and with red-brown eyes and dressed quite formally for a young adult. He came in, looking serious.

"Ryuzaki, there has been another attack. This one on the leader of Sakura TV... Had a heart attack not even 20 minutes ago..."

Ulquiorra blinked. He didn't know much about hearts, but Woman had told him some, such as that they are the greatest things that hold all of your 'emotions' and such, controlling how you feel or what you do. But if it was so great, how could it attack?

L stood and followed Light out of the room, and Ulquiorra got up to follow, curious. They ended up back downstairs infront of all the computers that Ulquiorra had never seen anything like before. Orihime and Misa could still he heard yelling and banging around upstairs, until the sounds got closer and they came tumbling down the steps, Orihime hitting the ground hard and Misa landing on top of her. "OWW!" They squealed together, both of their high pitched voice shattering the ear drums of anybody near, and Light winced and looked back at them like they were crazy, L didn't even look at them and Ulquiorra stared, not seeming to care.

"Are you broken girl?" Ulquiorra looked at her, his face showing no signs of anything other than boredom, but something was eating at the back of his mind, a question rather, and it stuck on the tip of his tongue, he wanted to know.

Orihime looked up, her hand rubbing her backside like she had bruised it. "Would you not call me girl!"

Ulquiorra blinked, then looked back to L and Light who were discussing quietly. Orihime stared at him in disbelief, wondering if he actually addressed her, she had spoken back, and he didn't even say he was going to do so. What the hey?

"But why him? I mean, they are the ones who get all the stuff on Kira, but he makes them do it, gives them tapes, sends them stuff..."

"Maybe they refused to play something Kira gave them? Light suggested.

L shook his head. "No, we're talking about Sakura TV, they only worry about ratings, and all the Kira stuff has made views sky rocket... There must be something else..."

Light nodded. "Well maybe Kira is now just targeting big owners of companies and corporations... There's always that possibility..."

"True... But it doesn't seem like something Kira would do..." L muttered, staring at the screen, hand holding his chin and his legs pulled up to him in the chair. He didn't even blink while reading all the stuff on the screen.

Orihime and Misa came over, Misa hugging Light tightly, almost tackling him onto the desk and he jumped a bit, startled. Orihime stood next to Ulquiorra, staring at the screen curiously. "Another heart attack?"

Ulquiorra blinked. He was quite confused, how could a heart attack someone? Isn't it supposed to make you live?

Misa shrugged. "We should like, go upstairs and do makeovers Inoue-chan!" Misa grabbed the hands on the red head, and Ulquiorra and dragged them up the stairs and into an elevator, bringing them up to a large room with two couches in the middle and a dark coffee table, obviously a girls room. Misa dragged them in and pushed them onto the couch. "I'll go get my kit!" Misa squealed and left into another room.

This was a good a time as another. "Girl, can a heart attack someone?" Ulquiorra looked at Orihime.

She blinked, surprised by his question, not totally understanding. "Huh?"

"You guys kept saying that guy had a 'heart attack', can a heart attack someone?" Ulquiorra tilted his head, giving him a better look at Orihime's face.

She thought for a moment. "Well a heart attack is when someone's heart beats too fast and it becomes bad for them... I'm not sure how to explain it to be honest..."

"But isn't a heart supposed to keep you alive?"

"Well yeah but-"

"But what?" Ulquiorra stared at her, wondering how she could argue.

"But...b-but..." She sighed. "A heart can harm someone, but it does keep us alive daily, but it can kill someone... But it's complicated... Ask L, he likes to explain complicated things..."

Ulquiorra looked at her for a moment, then nodded and stood, leaving as Misa was coming back with a few boxes. He hit the button on the elevator like he had seen the others do, and he stepped inside, then looked at the buttons. He wasn't sure which floor, or what they even meant so he hit them all, each one lighting up, and he went from top to bottom, little did he know L was on the first floor.

Ulquiorra was in there for about 10 minutes, tired so he sat down in the corner and watched the top of the elevator where the lights of floor numbers flashed and dulled. He found it entertaining almost. He looked up at the buttons to his right and noticed only one was lit, so he stood, and the second he stopped, he saw a button with doors on it, and thought it would open it, so he hit it, and the lights cut off, the elevator going into emergency mode. Ulquiorra blinked and hit the wall of the elevator to get out but nothing happened.

He blinked when an idea came to mind and suddenly a burst of green-ish energy formed at the tip of his finger and he launched it at the door, them being blown aside and the lights switching in and he walked out and looked over at L who was still on the computer, not even looking at the debris on the floor or metal and screws.

"L-san?" Ulquiorra walked over to him and sat in the chair next to him.

"Yes?" L said, not even looking at him.

"Girl told me to ask you something..."

L nodded. "No, I am not Kira."

Ulquiorra shook his head. "That's not it."

"Babies come from the stork?"

Ulquiorra shook his head again. "That's a lie, and doesn't relate to my question."

"Oh, well what is your question?"

"Well, Woman has told me that the heart controls the body and keeps it alive and thriving, and it controls your feelings and such, but if it does all that, how can it attack someone?"

L blinked and looked at him. "Well the heart is a major organ in the body that controls blood flow and production of such fluid that is vital to our very existence..." L pursed his lips in thought. "A heart attack occurs when blood flow to a section of heart muscle becomes blocked. If the flow of blood isn't restored quickly, the section of heart muscle becomes damaged from lack of oxygen and begins to die."

Ulquiorra nodded. "So, hearts can do more harm than good?"

L shrugged. "I wouldn't say that... Hearts can have some value if you believe in love..."

"Love?" Ulquiorra tilted his head. "I've heard of love, but no one has ever explained it. Can you?"

L blinked and put a finger on his chin, looking up. "Hmm well it's the bonding between two people who are really close and such usually comes after friendship and dating then settles in marriage... Then children and to death or divorce..."

"But what is it?" Ulquiorra wondered.

"I guess it's an emotion... The way you feel for something... I guess you can say that I love...sugar?"

Ulquiorra nodded. "So could I love you?" He blinked, still confused.

L went a little wide eye'd for a moment, then look at Ulquiorra seriously. "I guess, but that would be weird,"

"Are you sure?" Ulquiorra blinked. "You said it was a feeling between two people..."

"Yeah, but... I..." For once, L was speechless.

"You what?"

"I...don't know?"

"Oh... Well, could we love each other? If it's such a simple feeling, then why can't you answer the question?"

L blinked. "Do you want to love me?"

"I don't know."

"Well how do you feel about me?"

"Feel?"

"Yeah, it's something people do... Not something I'm used to either... Not much of a feeling type of person..." L explained.

"So...? How would be love one another?"

"Well a normal expression of love it a kiss or intercourse and such..." L said, almost sounding bored as he explained.

"A kiss? I've never kissed someone, how do you do it?" Ulquiorra blinked.

"Well you just press your lips against there and close your eyes or whatever..."

Ulquiorra blinked again. "Could I kiss you?"

L looked a bit surprised, and, was he blushing? Looks like it. He looked at Ulquiorra for a long moment, then sighed. "Sure...?"

Ulquiorra nodded, and he leaned in and pressed his lips gently against L's, almost feeling a bit nervous. They both stared at one another for a moment, this feeling strangely good to both of them, who weren't used to anything like this, and they started to really kiss one another, lips moving in synch, and both were panting and red before they were even sure what they were doing,

L popped a sugar cube in his mouth and looked at Ulquiorra. "There is a 97.3% chance I love you more than sugar."


End file.
